by: David Chastity
It’s no secret, I’m pretty slutty. But I used to be a lot sluttier. I want to tell you a story about the Fall my number of sex partners rose from “can count on one hand (and definitely know all their names)” to double-digits in the space of a few months.
There have been two major revolutions in my sexual life. The first was when I was 20 or so and realized that I can orgasm during intense meditation, which helped prove that sexuality is so very spiritual, and helped me dispel any last bits of shame I had about being religious and wanting to be slutty. The second was in the fall of 2010, when I got to experience sex with two or more partners at once.
As a kid who knew I was poly by puberty, long before I had the language to describe it, I’d been dreaming of threesomes and group encounters for quite some time. Sure, it’s kind of a default fantasy, but I don’t pretend to be anything but vanilla. I remember one time, I was in the Italian Alps, on the most miserable vacation of my life, plagued by a bossy German 12 year old and unable to breathe in the altitude, and so I just spent a whole day in bed. Didn’t even bother to go eat. I was 18 and petulant, okay? But in between naps, I wandered through some of the most vivid fantasies I can remember, and I was amazed at the bisexual group nature of all of it. I was just coming into my attracted-to-ladies-too identity, and was still a virgin, but that set of fantasies just felt so comforting and natural and was much nicer than trying to deal with my real life at that moment.
Fast forward a few years, and I’m on OKCupid, and I get a message from a girl asking if I want to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. I’ve had at least 7 or 8 male sex partners at this point, but no women. I leap at the opportunity. They were the kind of punk-artist couple that’s a dime a dozen on OKC, and it wasn’t their first threesome. They were having some kind of anniversary dinner that I showed up on the tail end of, and we walked back to their apartment, and sat around awkwardly for a while. Finally, after I had offered to just leave at least once, we made our way over to the bedroom. She got up and left at one point, and he started making out with me. I was a little worried about her, but she came back soon enough, and she decided she wanted to go through with it. I don’t know how it was for the two of them, but that first threesome opened up so much for me. Getting my mouth on a woman’s clit was exactly as sublime as I had dreamed about. Having two people kissing you at once is better than just one. Somehow all the talking-during-sex that I can’t stand with just one partner makes a lot more sense when three of us have to figure out where we’re going and what we’re doing. Riding the bus home in the middle of the night, I was walking on air. I never saw that couple again, but they remain in my mind like a country song about losing your virginity.
A little while later, I met this girl who lived just two blocks away from me. She was one of those people I think of as sexual extroverts, the kind of people who really care about all their sex partners, and yet seems to have an endless stream of them. The first time she and I hung out, another girl was coming over later that evening, and we decided to just keep hanging out. All three of us had sex, and two more people showed up later, although they just slept over. A few weeks later, I went back to her house, straight from a Quaker worship. Feeling all centered and spiritual, I borrowed a fishnet body stocking from her (this was long before my porn career provided me with a drawer of my own silly-sexy underwear) and soon found myself the center of attention in a fantastic orgy. I still don’t know how many people were there, or who most of them were, and I had to leave fairly early in the evening (work in the morning). It was one of the most empowering nights of my sexual life. Most of the way I feel about sex with strangers come out best in group sex. One-on-one, there’s still this story in your heads, this thing where you’re trying to see if it’s secretly True Wuv. In a room with 12 other people, there’s too much going on for that. Some guy may have given me his number that night after I let his cock out of my mouth, but I certainly never texted him. In that room, in that pre-centered spiritual mindset, I was pure sex. Literally interchangeable bodies helped me search for the Archetype above. I didn’t even come that night, but I still left on a sexual high.
I had another threesome or two that Fall. Nothing more transformative than really good sex and a little kink exploration (which I decided was too much pomp and circumstance to get to the stuff I really want). And then, I don’t know, I was falling in love and work got stressful and I haven’t quite managed group encounters since. I went and edited my OKC profile to ask for more threesomes recently, which shot up the number of offers I got, although I haven’t been able to actually schedule any of them. But who knows what this summer will bring?
David Chastity is some girl who lives in a city on the East Coast and likes kissing. She also really enjoys doing the Onion A.V. Club crossword puzzle, drinking good beer and finding the secret sexual meanings in popular music. She’s working on her MDiv and convincing Jesus to marry her.