by: Nico Lang
Hello Kitty is the Japanese Mona Lisa. You never know what she’s thinking, and her inscrutability is part of her strength. Her secret is her weapon, and no can man or being can tame or conquer it.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t screaming. It doesn’t mean you cannot hear her roar. It doesn’t mean she won’t demand consent.
Hello Kitty doesn’t have anatomically accurate eyes, but her raised consciousness can see all.
Hello Kitty has amorphous, ill-defined fingers and won’t make you a sandwich. Her hand most often resembles a fist, all the better to smash patriarchy with.
Hello Kitty may look young, but she is wise beyond age. She’s old enough to have read bell hooks, Jessica Valenti and Jeanette Winterson and to tell you what she thinks about Judith Butler.
Hello Kitty can fly, and she’ll never be held down by the weight of the masculinist society around her, because her liberty frees her from patriarchy.
Hello Kitty appears sometimes as a head without her feline form, because she is so body positive that she transcends your limiting expectations of what a body should be. Like John Mayer, her power is bigger than her body.
Hello Kitty drapes herself in both pink and blue, because she rejects your concepts of normative gender.
Hello Kitty is a fierce femme who wears dresses and skirts to reclaim the tropes of traditional femininity and finds power and strength in her hyperfeminine image.
Hello Kitty is a child, a mother, a sinner and a saint, but she doesn’t let these labels define her. She does not feel ashamed.
Hello Kitty rides a swan, not because she believes that any creature should have dominion over another. She is taking him on a path to liberation. She is taking him on a path to Lillith Fair.
Hello Kitty has a pet cat but respects her identity. Kitty does not subjugate her: they are life partners in struggle; they are organizers; their fates are intertwined with the liberation of all; they are united as one.
Hello Kitty is told by society to be a carnivore and to feed on the death of others, but Kitty rejects the lies she has been fed by the capitalist food regime. She is a vegan and makes a mean gluten-free polenta stew. Kitty believes in pacifism, kisses and hugs.
Hello Kitty doesn’t have friends; Hello Kitty has comrades.
Hello Kitty wants to party, but only so she can celebrate the imminent demise of the system. Hello Kitty will throw you a Tea Party, but only one that ends in an anti-imperialist riot.
Hello Kitty is 38, but she is also virile and ageless—because ideas live longer than we do; ideas live on forever.
Hello Kitty says “Hello World” because she believes in the power of the people to unite in global struggle against the bourgeoisie and the military-industrial complex.
Hello Kitty does not endorse the capitalist co-opting of her image, especially to misappropriate her identity through upholding dated gender norms, but she does find the bows quite cute.
Hello Kitty’s cat holds the key to Kitty’s jewelry box, but only the revolution can open it; the movement is inside, waiting for your consciousness to free her.
Hello is an alarm clock, because she knows it’s time for you to wake up.
Hello Kitty is the 99%.
Note: This piece was written in a spirit of love and admiration for fierce feminists everywhere. I identify as a feminist and actually wrote this as a queer cookout in Logan Square. So, if you’re a feminist or an ally and you are wondering if this piece is meant to make fun of you, trust me. It isn’t.
Nico Lang is the Co-Creator and Co-Editor of In Our Words and a graduate student in DePaul University’s Media & Cinema Studies program. Lang is a Change Coordinator for LGBT Change, the Co-Founder of Chicago’s Queer Intercollegiate Alliance and a columnist for HEAVEMedia. At HEAVE, Nico writes a column on film called Found Footage and talks about nerd stuff on a weekly podcast called Pod People. Elsewhere in podcasting, Lang hosts Broad Shoulders, a monthly podcast for Chicago’s Live Lit community. Nico is also a contributor at Thought Catalog and the Huffington Post and has been featured in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, LA Times, The New Gay, The Guardian and on their mother’s refrigerator. Follow Nico on Twitter @Nico_Lang or on the Facebook.
This is just so fantastic, I can’t even…
Wow. You are so full of yourself. I’m not quite sure why anyone lets you publish your shit to the public. You are literally the worst writer ever…and you are a graduate? Uh huh. I’d rather shove my face in a pile of shit, no no no, no I’d rather shove my face in a elephants asshole then ever read your shitty writing again. This isn’t poetry. This isn’t clever. This doesn’t progress feminism. Also stop using the rape card. You weren’t raped. You let it happen and you loved it!
Did it make you feel good to write that? Do you feel accomplished now?
Give me a break.
You are an asshole, and Nico is a lovely person. There’s a lot more that could be added about this awfullness, but I’ll leave it to that, because honestly, you’ve reminded me that people on the internet can really suck, and one of the things that makes it better is reading the spectacular writing on IOW. So I’d rather go read the excellent stuff Nico and others have written.
Nico, you know better than to bow to this antagonistic, self-righteous crap.
And Jerry, in the sincere defense of my friend, Nico: precisely why did you feel the need to personally attack someone you don’t actually know, on any level? I mean, I understand outrage and indignity, but honestly, it seems that you just wanted to try to tear somebody apart, and that you felt you had the means to do that. I would argue that you made a mistake. Perhaps you would care to engage in honest dialogue rather than abject attack? Your point is worthless unless you can defend it with true respect to the individual with whom you purport to disagree.
I don’t have anything to say to this. It’s a free country, and I could delete what you said, but I won’t. It’s there.
However, I do have some advice: If you are going to comment something like this on a blog someone has the backend access to, don’t use your real email, arafa.wesam@gmail.com.
Take Care,
Nico
I don’t think fighting fire with fire is a good idea. This is a place of discussion and empathy. You should just delete all the comments so people can give actual input or criticism.
With all your refined ideas and exceptionally keen punctuation, Jerry – which is particularly supported by you insane reasoning (Oh, did I say “insane”? I meant asinine) – I’d say you have the final word on every matter concerning poetry, feminism, tasteless insults, queer theory, rape, and more importantly, my dear friend Nico’s character. You know what I’d rather do than to read your spewing troglodytic banter on the internet? See you have the balls to make such comments to another human being face to face. You’d never do it, Jerry, because that would imply taking responsibility for your actions.
I would like to take a moment to advise everyone on this thread to simply stop responding to this idiot. He clearly is a troll with nothing better to do than hide behind the internet to make himself feel superior to others.
I have some disagreements.. You say that “Hello Kitty” is anti-capitalist but yet her face is on merchandise such as back packs and t-shirts. Also what are your facts in that she’s political and that shes a vegan/vegetarian? Animals eat other animals. Cats eat birds. Does she have a tv show? Also you said that she was created in Japan. And now she is in America. That’s globalization. Your article says shes against globalization. But globalization and capitalization allows her face to be shown world-wide.
Oh blah blah blah. Whine whine whine. Bunch of pussies aren’t ya.
All this madness makes me hot and bothered.
I have never felt so alive
How does it feel? To know I am more alive than you?
Oh wow, someone’s trolling hard.
I still think this is one of the most bad-ass things I’ve read in a long time. It’s a pity that trolls have to spam the comments to try to make themselves feel better. It’s an even bigger pity that the troll is wasting their time. No matter how many times they say it, they’re never going to make themselves feel better.
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