by: Elaine Body

I do not like myself today

I know I must love myself

Since I am stuck with her forever

But I do not like her today

The mirror is not my friend

I’ve never been a big fan of reflections

Usually I am okay not being able to see my vagina

As well as I used to while standing in the shower

Today I wanted a reminder it was still there

I have no desire to fuck myself to eternal sleep

I’d rather just sleep

You–

Are probably wondering why I am choosing

To tear off pieces of my skin and tattoo

This page with parts of myself

But if you’ve had a day like this

When all you want to do is trade faces

With someone else

You–

Know why

Everyone has moments when they consider

If the grass is really greener on the other side

For all I know it’s blue and our eyes are just fucked

We all have days when we look in the mirror

And want to just give this life up

When we contemplate eternal sleep

Don’t worry though

I am not about to cover myself in red paint

Or hang from the ceiling

This is just called venting party of one

And hoping

That you’ll find comfort in the fact

That you are not alone in this

You are not the first one to fall in love

With a steamed mirror

Because you do not exist

In the moment when you cannot see your own face

And you are not the first one to find the idea of escape

As appealing as winning lottery

Personally I’d rather have the money since I still plan on getting up in the morning

But today

I do not like myself

However–

If you happen to see her

Tell her I might like her more tomorrow

Elaine Body was born in Orange County, California and now lives in Louisville, Kentucky. She is 26 years old and has been writing poetry since she was 12. You can usually find her either writing poetry or taking photos.