by: Adam Guerino 

Serial Dater is a dating column inspired by a year-long sabbatical from dating. The author went from compulsively dating to abstaining from dating and decided to write about it. Like a food critic writing during a hunger strike. Though the fast has stopped, the saga continues as the author finds all of his dating problems waiting as he begins to date once again.

I’m a nerd. Whether that is surprising or whether you’re thinking “Well, duh,” I don’t know.  I’m also a gay man. And, when it comes to dating, nerds seem like a less popular pick for a partner. Even so, I consider myself a nerd gay. The reason I say nerd gay instead of gay nerd is because I’m a nerd first and foremost. Why? Well, I liked comic books long before I liked cock. And though I don’t like to discriminate, it’s nice to find others who share equal interests in nerdiness and homosexuality.

I don’t like nerds more than gays. I mean, someone who can answer X-Men trivia or stay in on a weekend night to watch Dr. Who makes me swoon, but that wouldn’t replace romantic interest. So, the trick is, finding someone that is as interested in nerdier pursuits as me but is also interested in me.

But is it shallow to like someone because of their interests? Would I like someone with the same intensity if our shared interests were, I don’t know, cooking? I doubt it. Not because being a nerd is better or worse than other interests but because being a nerd says so much more about someone than simply their interests.

Nerdy stories usually cater to tales where the hero is an outsider, misfit or socially misunderstood. Those that can relate share more than hobbies. For example, X-Files is a show with one of the largest cult followings and it follows two people who are trying to reveal conspiracies about aliens etc, but nobody will believe them. In short, it’s about being misunderstood. But misunderstood together. For two people to mutually love that show, their shared interests lie deeper than a television series. Same with X-Men, a comic book about a team of people gathering together after being born with powers that others fear and hate. More than that, it’s about being born different and finding a home where you belong. This story resonates with most minority groups for obvious reasons. And, again, two people who both relate to the story have more in common than reading habits.

I propose to you that being a nerd is more than a type, it’s a culture with itles, saying “I want to believe” is asking, in code, “Who wants to watch X-Files” but it also implicitly asks, “Doesn’t it feel like sometimes the whole world’s against you?” It’s also a way of looking at the world that helps you get through the day. If you don’t quite fit ins own unique language and code. It’s a way to reference yourself so that you can find others. Like sonar. Keeping with the same example, X-Men can give you hope that there are places for people like you. And said places may have hot telepathic redheads to date.

So if you’re a nerd gay, and you’re looking for another, cast your net; sing your siren song for all to hear. Proclaim, To me, my gay nerds! I want to travel to Mordor with you and frak like Ewoks in heat. It might be difficult, but the truth is out there and when we find each other, we can live long and prosper. When we think about that time, when we didn’t have each other… we’ll laugh at how it seems so long ago. And in a galaxy far, far away.

Adam Guerino is a writer in Chicago who works nationally as a stand-up comedian and event producer. Adam will be hosting Word Is Out: Family Photo at Town Hall Pub 8pm, on December 18th, Word Is Out is a collaboration with In Our Words Blog and OutLoud Chicago– a production company run by Guerino that brings LGBTQ performers to venues across Chicago. For more from Adam Guerino, www.adamguerino.com is a great place to start.

Note: This was republished with permission, view the original here.