by: Jack Michealson
cut off t-shirts. basketball shorts
during pledge week, ironic jorts
something about you makes my heart take flight
is it the muscle milk, or the natty light?
for monday, wednesday, friday, three to five
the rec center comes alive
just look at these bros, aren’t they a treat?
wouldn’t you say their perfection’s complete?
wouldn’t you say they’re the ones
who could lift, anything?
there are ROTCs and fratboys a plenty
there are athletes and jocks galore
you like shaved heads? there are at least twenty
but who cares? no big deal. i just want one
if one caught my eye from across the gym
would he turn away or go out on a limb
and smile at me with that idiot grin
that tells me i have a chance with him?
or would he turn unto his friend
and laugh upon the fag again?
proving while he condescends
that love in this gym is a dead end
but one in ten people, stop shitting with me
be out, be proud, be happy, be free
fine, fine, you can be the gym’s biggest jocks
but we all know, ten percent of you like the co—ommmpany of men
all your muscles, they quiver
like lindsey lohan with no liver
so come on bros, put me out of my misery
i can smoke more cock than a chicken rotisserie
it’s not my intent to just ogle and stare
you really must know, i really do care
which is why you straight ladies should learn how to share
for i too want a bro with the buzzed off hair
admiring from afar, it ain’t that grand
so please, let me spot you if you need a hand
we could head to the juice bar, and talk about lifts
and then head to penny pitchers, if you catch my drift
we could run in the park, and text during class
and maybe, if you ask, i’ll inject ’roids in your ass
oh what a great bromance we could be
order protein in bulk, get half of it free
now, you know, there’s bros, bros, all types of bros
black, white, puerto rican, chinese bros
my love for bros is just so strong
so don’t be alarmed when i break into sooooong
there’s bros over theeeere
there’s bros over heeeeere
but there’s not one single bro that is queeeeeeeeer
so, to all the bros
perhaps you’re in the closet?
that’s ridiculous. or is it?
i just have to ask
has anyone paid your prostates a visit?